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SELVES

Selves

Lonelyhaiku

Still Home?

CRASH—
and my hand’s
broken in the sand

But I stand
up and extend
my eyes to

The horizon
and watch the crows
explode

One hundred and
nine degrees…
Such abrupt a turn

In this reverse
I fail to see
the benefit

And though I may
walk in circles
I know this much at least:

You cannot
suppress
a notion

You cannot
oppress
an ocean

And you cannot
repress
me

 

 

Polyrhythmic crickets went silent when I passed by
so I’ll mind my step
Unaccustomed to the sound of quiet since you passed on
You left your step
I can’t find your step

But are you still home?
I thought I saw purple glints in your hair that weren’t there
But how could I know?
I’d just like to see if it’s time for your petals to unfold

Looking through some photographs you left behind
I have tried to find the rest
Polyrhythmic crickets await your sound
if you’re found
Just mind your step, just mind your step

But now that I’m home I couldn’t leave if I tried
‘Cause I’m still home, I’ll wait awhile
till it’s time to tell what’s been untold:

When I was with you I glowed like the
dark air just before the headlights crest

Sun Scream

June Apathy

I took a walk along the power lines

slicked with sunshine

and watched the kids gape at

their screaming suns

for they couldn’t wait till dark

to start the sparks

but neither can you

 

And you’ve got pocketfuls of particles

but I’ve got none

so rest your head on someone else’s knee

and do it quickly

‘cause I’m not ready for you

I can’t be ready for you

and you’re not ready for me

 

Your son is screaming in the living room

Won’t you tend to him?

Don’t pretend you don’t hear him call

Hear him crying from behind these paper walls

I know it’s hard

I know it’s so hard

I know you’ve been barred

and that I’ve scarred you

 

Don’t let go

Don’t let go of me

I will try to release you

 

Which leaves me:

the longest light who teases

the shortest night it precedes

And you: the butterfly between

sole and sun-soaked concrete

​

 

On the steel and in the stones
brushing fingers ‘gainst your wrist
Swinging legs and thick shadows
your choreographies condense

And your forehead’s numbing
from the fracture of a thought
as the transatlantic
bridges cool and fall apart

You don’t know how this all came to be
but it feels so far from ordinary

‘Cause you are not immune to an apathetic June
And while it’s not opportune it’s an apathetic June
‘Cause you are not immune to this apathetic June
So few of us are immune to an apathetic June

Pencils snap and ivories
cut my fingers as they perch
The paper’s blank, a lack of ink
won’t let a melody emerge
The sun is hidden while our faces lose their glow
And the notes will fade in approaching monochrome

And how did all of this even come to be?
‘cause it feels so far from ordinary

But I am not immune to an apathetic June
Few of us are immune to an apathetic June
Yeah we are not immune to this apathetic June
So we will wait and see if July brings something new

Monday Storms

Don't Let Your Gaze Leave Mine

The chokecherry keeps reminding me

that we’re nearing the end of this season

And you may trim the violet clean

but August simply cannot be outrun

 

Mahogany blushes as it’s soaked with rain

A deepening stain

The house, encased, surveys the afternoon

In exile, I found fields were best viewed from

the fraying edges of the setting sun

 

The driftwood there, atop the stool—

it found its place, no need to resume

floating in the sea

Soon we will anchor just the same

We’ll wash ashore

as ancient remains of coastal trees

​

Monday storms wet our eyes

but fail to wear down tangible time

Monday storms compromise

but who would let them break our ties?

 

You or I?

​

Don’t let your eyes leave mine, dear
Don’t let your gaze leave mine, dear

Don’t let your hands leave mine, dear
Don’t let your grip leave mine, dear

Don’t let your heart leave mine, dear
Don’t let your love leave mine, dear

Voice / Breaths

Your voice is not how I expected, how I expected

But until now, I hadn’t heard it, I’d never heard it

So I will listen, I will notice how we become

accustomed to each other’s timbre

​

While you fumble off, you fumble off the field

​

Your voice is not how I expected, not how I’d left it

You tell me that you haven’t chosen, you didn’t decide yet

But if you’d calm down, we could make waves

Yeah if you’d just come ‘round, I could take you to a new place

​

But you crumple up, you crumple up in fear

But you crumble in, you crumble in your fear

So I stumble out, I stumble out of here

Yeah I stumble out, I stumble out of here

and I let you breathe in and out

 

Till you turn to me, and swallow up your fear

and we tumble off, we tumble off the pier

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